Arguing Leads to Early Death—So Don’t Do It!

Los Angeles Times reporter Karen Kaplan reported on a longitudinal study published online last week in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health that proved that arguing leads to early death.

The study looked at middle-aged adults who frequently fought with their spouses and found that they were twice as likely to die young when compared to their nonfighting or lesser fighting counterparts.

Worse than fighting with spouses was fighting with friends. They weighed in at 2.6 times more likely to die prematurely. Worst of all were those who couldn’t resist fighting persistently with their neighbors, and they were three times more likely to die prematurely.

Passive-aggressives didn’t get off the hook either, as those who worried or stewed also had shorter life spans. And parents beware, as those who expended lots of negative mental energy on their children were 55% more likely to die early.

The early deaths were more often from cancer, cardiovascular disease, alcohol abuse, and accidents, among others.

“Personality has been shown to influence social relationships and mortality,” wrote Karen, quoting the study. These curmudgeons have more stress, and the stress prompts the body to make more cortisol and other pro-inflammatory molecules. Researchers think cortisol, also known as the “stress hormone” is the link between stress and early death.

Vindication! Redemption! Yet another study provides evidence that fighting and arguing shortens life spans.

I’ve been telling my clients this for years. Over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve counseled my clients like this: Yes, I know your ex-husband is a lying, cheating, alcoholic, but please stop calling him that. Or, yes, I know you feel your daughter betrayed you. But please let it go, and don’t argue about it. And, I’m sorry your wife left you, your boss has no respect for you, the people who work for you are clueless or your husband just retired. (Take your pick.) Please stay cool, calm, and collected and don’t argue about it.

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We were wrong! And we’re not too proud to admit it. Fighting does not work. It’s bad for body. Bad for the mind. Bad for the emotions. And I am assuming it’s bad for the spirit, although that would be above my pay grade to assess. I tell my clients: Let’s be problem-solvers, not angry outbursters.

So the next time you have the impulse to lash out, act out, or yell out; remember this study. Your life could literally hang in the balance.

Sanity now!

 

 

 

 

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