That’s from Cat Stevens of course. So how do you ride the Peace Train? Well, if I was on a desert island and I could only bring one mental health tool to help me keep my sense of peace, it would be this one: don’t get pulled into the drama.
Would you like to hear what some of my clients this week had to say about NOT getting pulled into dramas?
1) Cindy: “No matter the mind games your boyfriend plays, don’t make snotty comments back.”
2) Jennifer: “No matter how often your alcoholic ex-husband belittles you in front of the children—don’t lecture him.”
3) Julie: “No matter how crazy the students act, don’t be childish and defensive back—you’re the teacher.”
4) Ray, “No matter how irrational your boss is, resist the urge to put him in his place; your job may depend upon it.”
This is a pretty good start for riding the Peace Train, don’t you think? But does this mean you don’t seek couples counseling with your passive-aggressive boyfriend? Seek legal assistance regarding your alcoholic ex-husband? Look for proper mentoring and useful consequences as a new teacher? Look for a new job or be grateful for little moments of peace at the current one?
No, it does not. But learning to NOT get pulled into dramas means simply that we become problem solvers instead of accepting our assigned roles in the drama.* As we learn to do it well and consistently, we find that our sense of peace increases and soon we’ll be riding the Peace Train with Cat Stevens.
*More on dramas and personality disorders in future posts. And thanks to Dr. Greg Lester for his model of dramas vs problem solvers.